Seriously, Karim! It’s hot enough to fry a pork roll on the sidewalk

This heat is intolerable, even after thirty years in Alabama! captured on Wednesday, June 25, 2025, in Cranford, New Jersey.Shamsi-Basha Karim

I have to state at the beginning of this piece that this heat wave is harmful and has caused major problems in New Jersey. Thus, while caring for the elderly and others in need, kindly read this humorous column. Stay out of the sun, give someone a bottle of water, and see how your neighbors are doing.

I lived in Alabama for 35 years before relocating to New Jersey three years ago, as many of my readers are aware. The two states differ greatly from one another, as one might anticipate. In fact, Alabama and New Jersey could as well be two nations.

Although I’ve written about these changes throughout the years, I’m thinking back to my time in Alabama in August, when the temperature was around 110 degrees and the humidity was around 98 percent, as the temperatures have been rising into the 90s and 100s.

Snorkels are necessary only to walk!

I thought I’d share a couple funny sayings about hot weather I heard over there, like “fixin’ to” and “bless your heart,” so you can connect to this heat. When I lived in Alabama, I kept repeating “fixin’ to” until a friend intervened.

My pal said, “Dude, you’re confusing people.” Get in touch!

This is some Jersey lingo concerning the heat, followed by some Alabama lingo. Or, perhaps more accurately, Jersey tawlk!

It s hotter than a blister bug in a pepper patch.
It s hotter than a six-shooter.
It s so hot, the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs. (I m off eggs now)
It s hotter than two trees fighting over a dog.
It s hotter than a honeymoon hotel.
It s hotter than Dutch love. (Originally, Dutch oven).
It s hotter than two mice fighting in a wool sock.
It s hotter than a June bride in a feather bed. (The Roman goddess of marriage is named Juno).

In the Garden State, what do we say? Although it doesn’t typically get as hot as Alabama, it has been hot enough lately to fry an egg on your car’s hood.

In New Jersey, that Southern proverb means: It’s hot enough to fry a pork roll on the pavement. Alternatively, how about we fry some Taylor ham on the sidewalk? Over this sandwich, you have to learn about my first experience with the civil war between North Jersey and South Jersey. I might add that there are still folks who passionately correct me.

Here’s more Jersey, tawlk, and scorching weather.

I m gonna need more hairspray for this! (This one cracked me up. Think hair from the Soprano s).
Only an iced coffee from Wawa would cool me down.
It s a beach day. (I will forever be confused about saying beach or shore. Even when I drove from Sandy Hook to Cape May for

this story

, I still came back confused).
Thank God we don t have to get out of our car to pump gas. (I gotta give it to you, Jersey folks. You got this one right).

But really, Find a shaded area or remain indoors. And now more than ever, express gratitude to first responders and police officers who frequently work outside. Give them a bottle of water, or at least express gratitude. Take a constructive action today.

You will be happy that you did.