The transgender individual who carried out a horrific school shooting at Nashville’s Covenant School in March 2023, Audrey Hale, left behind over 1,000 pages of deeply disturbing diary entries. These diaries, now revealed, provide chilling insights into the shooter’s mindset, motivations, and frustrations that contributed to the tragic massacre. Hale’s written words offer a disturbing window into her hatred, self-loathing, and obsession with violence and destruction.
Hale, 28, who was born female but identified as male, expressed an overwhelming sense of hatred in her diary entries. Throughout her writings, she repeatedly expressed resentment towards white people and her own racial identity.
Hale, who was white, wrote, “Being white sucks, but being black is so cool. Black people should rule. White people should fall, every white person who lived and died. I hate you all.” This disturbing rant reveals Hale’s deep-seated racial animosity, which became a driving force in her violent ideology. She didn’t just express dislike for white people but went as far as to call for their destruction.
In her diaries, Hale does not hold back her criticism of America itself. She expressed strong disdain for the country, writing, “America is not the land of the free, it’s a land full of idiots. It will only get worse in this country, not nearly enough gods like me. America and its people are all destined to soon be destroyed.” Hale’s hatred for the American people and society is evident in these passages, as she painted a bleak and apocalyptic view of the country’s future.
Alongside her racial hate, Hale’s diaries also expose her frustrations with her gender identity. Born female, Hale identified as male and expressed deep dissatisfaction with the challenges she faced regarding her transition. She openly discussed her gender struggles, explaining how she resented being raised as a girl. “I only wore some nice girl clothes as a cover-up from the truth, which I denied myself all these years. And I hated all of it,” she wrote.
The pain and frustration of not being able to live as her true self were recurring themes in her writings. Hale’s anger over the lack of medical support and societal understanding of transgender issues is clear, as she stated, “There was lack of education, research, and medicine to help society or parents better understand transgender.”
One of the most striking aspects of Hale’s diaries is her fury over the lack of access to puberty blockers at an earlier age. Hale, who began her transition later in life, expressed regret for not receiving hormone treatment sooner, which she believed could have altered her physical appearance. She wrote, “I’m mad that no one told me until I was 22.
I feel I’m too old and too late to become a man. Now, the process takes months to years. By the time that happens, I’m 30, and then 10 years later, I’ll have a bald spot on my head and look like an old man. Hell no.” These words underscore Hale’s deep frustration and feelings of being too late to make the physical changes she desired, which added another layer to her mental turmoil.
While Hale’s personal struggles with gender identity were significant, they were only one part of a much larger and more sinister worldview expressed in her diaries. Hale idolized notorious figures from history, including the Columbine shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, as well as serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer and Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh.
She repeatedly referred to these figures, including herself, as “gods.” This disturbing admiration for individuals who committed horrific acts of violence points to Hale’s desire for notoriety and infamy. She saw herself as part of a legacy of violence, one that would make her infamous in the same way these individuals were.
“I feel I am the reincarnation of Dylan Klebold,” Hale wrote. “My thoughts of depression are forever linked to his and my experience as well.” Hale’s fixation on the Columbine shooters, in particular, reveals a desire for recognition through violence, as she sought to make her mark in history in a similar manner. This obsession with infamy is a clear indication that Hale was motivated not only by personal frustrations but by a desire to achieve notoriety through violence.
The attack on Covenant School was meticulously planned, and Hale’s diaries give insight into her rationale for choosing the school as her target. Hale attended the school as a child and spoke about the happy memories she had there.
This connection to the school was one of the driving factors behind her decision to target it. She viewed the school as the “perfect setting” for her attack, explaining that it would be the ideal place to end her life and carry out the act of violence that she so desperately sought.
“Because of this, Hale felt The Covenant was the perfect place to commit an attack, as it was the perfect setting for her death,” the final report from the Nashville Metropolitan Police concluded. Hale believed that the school, which she had once attended, would provide the perfect backdrop for her tragic and violent end.
On March 27, 2023, Hale entered the Covenant School armed with a 9mm carbine and began her deadly rampage. She murdered three nine-year-old students and three faculty members who tried to intervene before police arrived on the scene. Within 15 minutes, Hale was shot and killed by responding officers. The scale of the tragedy could have been far worse had it not been for the swift response of law enforcement.
The police report also revealed that Hale had expressed a desire for her writings to be published and preserved in museums, where they could serve as a guide for other would-be school shooters. “I want these writings to serve as a guide for others who would follow in my footsteps,” she wrote, revealing her twisted desire to inspire future acts of violence.
The newly uncovered diaries shed light on the complex and disturbing mix of personal, racial, and ideological factors that fueled Hale’s violent actions. While Hale’s struggles with her gender identity and her frustrations over her transition were clearly part of the equation, they were far from the only factors that led to the attack. Racial hatred, admiration for violent criminals, and a deep desire for notoriety played equally significant roles in shaping Hale’s violent path.
As the nation continues to grapple with the aftermath of the Nashville school shooting, the release of these diary entries serves as a sobering reminder of the dangerous ideologies that can drive individuals to commit horrific acts of violence. Understanding the mindset behind such tragedies is crucial in preventing future incidents and addressing the underlying issues that contribute to such devastating acts.
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