TO ANNIE: Three months ago, I met a man, and at first, everything was great. He was nice, loving, and made me feel like I was seen, even though I had recently ended a relationship and wasn’t seeking for anything committed. He made me feel special, called frequently, and discussed marriage.
However, things evolved over time. He began to abruptly cancel plans and, when he did, hardly ever spoke. He claimed that I was giving him warning signs when I became agitated. I eventually found out that he had lied about his name. I forgiven him because he acknowledged it.
He now uses reasons to avoid taking me out, claims that I come across as materialistic, and charges me with being purely concerned with his finances. He rarely tries to indicate that he cares, and we fight a lot. I recently broke things up because I didn’t feel valued. He said I didn’t deserve to go anyplace and that I was beneath him. However, I still adore him and find it impossible to let go.
Does this romance have a chance? Or do I simply continue to cling to my perception of him? — Still Holding Out Hope
Greetings, Hoping It is not love that you are clinging to. It is not how he treats you now, but rather the recollection of how he made you feel at first.
This man has insulted you, falsely accused you, canceled on you multiple times, lied, and delayed contact. That connection is not worth preserving, and it is not love. Excuses and emotional games are not what you deserve; you deserve respect, honesty, and consistency.
It’s difficult to let go, particularly when your heart is at stake. However, you will remain trapped if you continue to be with someone who depresses you. While you grieve the loss, move on. You won’t ever doubt your value in the presence of true love.
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