Greetings, Abby When I was in high school, my parents were divorced, and Dad kept the house where I was raised. Despite having my own house and attending a college across town, I still frequently visited Dad. I used to be responsible for preparing the family meal two times a week when I was a teenager. I continued to cook while I was there because I loved it.
Currently, Dad lives with his serious girlfriend. When I visit, she claims it’s appropriate for me to be in the living room just because she feels uneasy having a guest in her kitchen. I should ask her for a drink of water if I want one. It feels like a power maneuver to push me away, yet she calls it being a good host. It’s her house and her rules, according to Dad.
I regret that the place where I spent eighteen years of my life is now closed. I understand that mom feels anxious about our connection and wants to keep me and my dad apart, but her rigidity makes me feel unwelcome in the home where I grew up. They both declined my invitation to come to my house. Now what should I do? ADVANCED IN ARKANSAS
DEAR PUSHED: Your father has made it plain that he doesn’t want to upset his girlfriend, who seems to be insecure and domineering. You are forced to abide by the new house rules because of the situation. See your father if you can follow them. In the event that you are unable to make amends, you might need to wait until he has missed you before he agrees to visit you. (What a depressing situation. I apologize.)
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