Greetings, Abby I’ve been married for 15 years and am 55 years old. My two children are 25 and 22 years old. They are both living their lives alone. My spouse is forty-five. Despite having a four-year degree in computer technology, her 25-year-old son says he is unable to find employment. He won’t search for another job till a position in computers becomes available. He sleeps till midday after spending the better part of the night getting stoned and playing internet games. It’s not like he’s broke and unable to start living on his own because he has a considerable sum saved and can trade stocks.
He is my wife’s only child, so she won’t let him go. She and I don’t have any alone time, romantic evenings, or meals together without him. I’m sick of him being involved in everything and always present. At this stage of my life, I want to spend time with my wife by myself.
We’re looking for a new home, but I’m prepared to suggest that we either buy one together, just the two of us, or that I file for divorce and buy one on my own. I think it’s long overdue for him to leave his mother and start living on his own. Am I being too sensitive, or do you agree? — IN ARIZONA, OVER IT
OVER IT, DEAR: You’re not acting too sensitively. When it comes to her son, your wife seems to be suffering from severe separation anxiety, which is unhealthy for both of them. I’m assuming you’ve talked to her about this without success. You should if that isn’t the case. If it’s true, it’s time to see a licensed professional for marital and family therapy. The alternative would be to make an appointment with an attorney who can assist you in getting married if your wife declines to go.
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