TO ERIC: I complied with our friends’ request to mow and trim their lawn until their house sold while they were away for a year. I mowed the yard for a year, but it never sold.
After that, they went back and re-occupied it. They had to relocate once it sold. They bought a beautiful house with a swimming pool.
We waited for invites, which were infrequent, assuming that a year’s worth of free mowing would result in a few requests to use their pool. When invited to swim with them, we used it a few times without asking. (This scenario did not involve any young children.)
Was I right to think that we ought to have had some leeway, at least for a year?
Lawn Pawn
DEAR LAWN: A year’s worth of swimming passes would have been a kind and equitable gift, no doubt. Depending on the size of the lawn, even lifetime swimming privileges is a lot to ask for after a year of upkeep at someone else’s house.
However, in order to prevent misalignment, I believe it’s always a good idea to put expectations into words. Now, instead of you telling them, they ought to have proactively chosen a means to express their gratitude. To be honest, I believe they ought to have compensated you for your work. However, it’s probable that they didn’t even consider offering pool access as payment for maintaining the lawn. Ultimately, we are discussing two distinct elements—earth and water. Perhaps they didn’t think of it.
It’s acceptable to make demands or set expectations, even when we are providing a favor out of kindness. To avoid making friends and acquaintances feel like they’re being duped, it’s best to do it ahead of time. However, it is acceptable to renegotiate the conditions if a favor changes in the middle of the agreement, as your lawn service did. Although I’m glad to continue, this has grown to be a larger task than I had anticipated. Can we talk about how to make it equitable? To put it another way, I was glad to take on this significant task. As a thank you, may I use your pool? “No” is the worst they can say.
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